Oct. 11, 2025

From Bullying to Breakthrough: A Family’s Fight for Their Son and the Hard Truths About Teen Mental Health PART 3 of 3

From Bullying to Breakthrough: A Family’s Fight for Their Son and the Hard Truths About Teen Mental Health PART 3 of 3

"Text now! I'll Respond" A teenager’s world narrowed to taunts, pressure, and a painful injury—then one snap nearly ended everything. We sit with Lisa and Will Cummings to trace the full story: an outgoing kid who wanted everyone’s friendship, the slow drip of bullying from kindergarten to high school, and the unseen weight of online gaming harassment that followed him into his room. What follows is unfiltered and human: the scramble to find a therapist who takes your insurance, the drug tha...

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Season 4

"Text now! I'll Respond"

A teenager’s world narrowed to taunts, pressure, and a painful injury—then one snap nearly ended everything. We sit with Lisa and Will Cummings to trace the full story: an outgoing kid who wanted everyone’s friendship, the slow drip of bullying from kindergarten to high school, and the unseen weight of online gaming harassment that followed him into his room. What follows is unfiltered and human: the scramble to find a therapist who takes your insurance, the drug that makes things worse before anyone realizes, the school meetings and IEP, and two working parents trying to hold life together while staying present for a daughter who becomes a hero.

The crisis is stark. A sister finds her brother. A grandmother does CPR. A father arrives to “we’ve got a pulse.” Doctors warn of lifelong limits—no walking, talking, or eating on his own. Then the small miracles begin. A hand squeeze that isn’t “involuntary.” A whispered “Hi, Dad.” A first stand. Steps. And a move to rehab where a friend named Mason shows up with a football and a dose of normal. The darkness that marked the months before gives way to a gentler light as Will relearns how to eat, speak, and move, and his parents relearn how to breathe.

We don’t offer tidy answers. We share what helped: getting help without hesitation, pushing for a new medication when the first one failed, setting up school accommodations, and building a village that includes youth pastors, clinicians, and peers who show up consistently. If you’re a parent feeling behind, you’re not. Help-seeking is messy, and advocacy is a skill you practice under pressure. The only wrong move is doing nothing.

If this resonates, tap follow, share this with someone who needs courage tonight, and leave a review with one action you’ll take this week. Your story might become someone else’s map.

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00:00 - Framing a Difficult Conversation

00:36 - Meet Lisa and Will Cummings

02:01 - Early Years: Joyful, Outgoing Will

04:19 - Kindergarten Bullying and First Alarms

07:50 - Middle School, Gaming, and Online Harassment

10:38 - COVID Isolation and Escalating Strain

12:26 - High School Football and Injury Fallout

16:00 - First Signs of Suicidal Ideation

18:34 - Barriers to Care: Therapy and Medication

21:31 - The Crisis Night and 988 Intervention

24:18 - Hospital, Prognosis, and Faith

27:05 - Defying the Odds: First Words and Steps

30:20 - Rehab, Community, and Relearning Life

33:01 - Telling Will the Truth and Family Healing

35:09 - What Parents Can Do Now

36:40 - Closing Reflections and Hope

WEBVTT

00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:12.320
Connecting the dots.

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Connecting his guests to the world.

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Creating more connections.

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Welcome to the connection.

00:00:20.239 --> 00:00:24.879
Meet your host, author, coach, Air Force veteran Jay Morales.

00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:36.399
Thanks for joining us on probably one of the most impactful episodes I've ever spoken of.

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This is part three in the Cummings Family.

00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:42.880
And I want to address that.

00:00:43.039 --> 00:00:56.479
This is to encourage people to open up and talk about suicide ideation or ideation of hurting yourself or feeling depressed or blue, feeling not so strong mentally or struggling with your mental health.

00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:01.119
So keep that in mind as we go through Lisa and Will, good friends of the family.

00:01:01.439 --> 00:01:04.959
Lisa, your relationship with Peck, how long have you known Becky?

00:01:05.599 --> 00:01:07.280
Yeah, I was just thinking about that the other day.

00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:09.200
I think it's been like 25 years.

00:01:09.519 --> 00:01:11.840
We started at first data together.

00:01:12.159 --> 00:01:15.680
Do you remember the time that we were all at Heather's house?

00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:18.480
Heather and Mike's house, and we went to the cigar shop.

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You and I drove.

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You and I, yes, yes.

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Everyone's like, where'd they go?

00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:23.920
And I take cigars.

00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:29.200
I mean, I'd known you, like we had talked a couple of times and we're like, oh, let's go get cigars.

00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:32.239
And so we're just like people were like, Where'd they go?

00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:37.200
You know, literally, we just went to go get cigars because I wanted a cigar.

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So we've known each other.

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Will 10 years, you and I.

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I mean, Fresno, California, right?

00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:45.120
Okay, since you and it was 10 years.

00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:46.719
That's nuts, man.

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We you we've been through a lot together.

00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:52.799
You know, we've been through a lot, and I just want to get right into it, right?

00:01:53.120 --> 00:02:01.599
I can put all the details of who you guys are online, but I really want to get into this, and I I want to be very respectful with our conversation.

00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:03.280
So let's talk about this.

00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:05.599
What was your son like growing up?

00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:06.879
What was little Will like?

00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:08.159
You know, what was he like?

00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:10.240
Well, he was an he's an April Fool's baby.

00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:18.319
So uh he was born on April 1st, so he is he's the class plow, he's the jokester, you know, always always trying to make everybody laugh, yeah.

00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:20.240
It was a great trait, great quality.

00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:23.360
Yeah, he was born a month early.

00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:23.919
Okay.

00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:27.360
So I did not want him to be born on April 1st.

00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:28.960
I was so disappointed.

00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:31.120
You wanted the May 1st baby.

00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:37.199
I he was so yeah, I was supposed to be born May 1st, and I'm like, let's I wanted to hold off just for one more day.

00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:42.240
But no, he he was ready to come out outside the world when he wanted to.

00:02:42.639 --> 00:02:48.000
But he thought it was a joke that when we told him he was born, like, yeah, we're not following for that April 1st, April.

00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:52.719
His sister specifically, because him and his sister play always played pranks on each other.

00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:58.240
So I had to take a photo of Will with the paper, yeah, you know, so that way she gets time stamp it.

00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:00.240
Yeah, such a good memory around it.

00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:01.680
What was he like?

00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:05.280
Was he was he was he, what do they call it then?

00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:06.080
Hyperactive?

00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:07.280
Was he a hyperactive kid?

00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:09.599
Or what was he like when he was toddler-wise?

00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:17.120
He's a very well, he was very hyperactive, a very passionate child, very wanting to be everybody's friend.

00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:26.560
And he just wanted everybody to love him, even the even naughty kids, he was like, Those are that's gonna be my friend, you know?

00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:28.080
And we're like, Yeah, maybe not.

00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:29.599
But he's like, No, yeah.

00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:33.039
So he's always been an extrovert, like he was explaining to me.

00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:36.159
So there are kids that you know that just don't talk to anybody.

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Like I have friends who have kids who they're just very reserved, and you know, that's okay too.

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I'm not chastising.

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But then there's these kids who light up the world.

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Like, where in that spectrum was Will from closed off reserve to all the way like, what's up, y'all?

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He knew no stranger.

00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:54.000
Wow.

00:03:54.159 --> 00:04:03.120
So he would, you know, you any place where we would go, he he'd fit fit right in and talk to anybody and you know, try to make them laugh and you know, ask him a million questions.

00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:04.240
That's pretty cool.

00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:04.960
Very outgoing.

00:04:05.039 --> 00:04:06.560
Yeah, very outgoing, yeah.

00:04:06.879 --> 00:04:11.039
I I think it's important that people understand, you know, who Will was, you know.

00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:13.280
So so let's take him to grade school now.

00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:15.520
Let's take him to first day of first grade.

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Do you remember any of those days or kindergarten or even, you know?

00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:28.319
So kindergarten was we were living in Madera, California, and it was a public school out there, and it was a very packed public school.

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Okay.

00:04:29.120 --> 00:04:36.639
And so William is that child where you he was that kid where you couldn't leave him to his own by himself.

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So I remember I got a call from the teacher and he cut his hair.

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Like he just took the decision in school.

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And I thought it was funny.

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So when a teacher is bringing and she had his arm like this, walking him, and he's just like going, you know, I mean, and I'm laughing because I'm like, I, you know, I've been waiting for one of my kids to do it, you know, because every kid, at least one one of your kids cuts their hair.

00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:03.279
And so the teacher was so upset with me.

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She's like, This isn't funny.

00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:05.839
I'm like, it's hilarious.

00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:12.879
So we just I knew, and then there's like some incidences that he was being bullied already starting in kindergarten.

00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:15.040
Yeah, why do you think he was bullied?

00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:20.399
And and because remember, this was over 17 years ago, over 15, 12 years ago.

00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.439
Yeah, and and so let's talk about the word bullying.

00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:34.000
Okay, yeah, because again, when I was growing up, bullying was somebody was pushing you twice your size, and somebody was pushing you twice your size and and knocking you down.

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So that's essentially what was happening to him.

00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:54.959
So we what happened at in at that school was there was a kid and he was doing some things at home, just kind of I don't know, just not real aggressive, but it was just behavioral-wise.

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We were just kind of like, you know, he and then he had said some things like he was getting pushed around at school and stuff.

00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:12.959
So we just showed up unannounced to the recess to watch it ourselves because we felt strongly that the teacher wasn't doing enough, was not doing enough.

00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:13.439
Okay.

00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:17.439
So we, you know, with him in education, I always let him lead it.

00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:17.920
That's right.

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You know, an educator, he's more diplomatic talking to people.

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I'm the bulldog.

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We're gonna talk about that.

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So we kind of that's how we balance each other out.

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Yes.

00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:32.240
I think if you want to spin off of that, of what we saw.

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Yeah, I mean, I think we saw, I mean, like you were talking about having more of the physical side of things.

00:06:37.439 --> 00:06:39.360
Will has always wanted acceptance.

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Um and and again, that's from his outgoing, he wants to be everybody's friend.

00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:48.639
And if somebody isn't accepting of him, he tries even harder to get that acceptance.

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So when we were observing the playground activities, he was really trying to get these attentions of these boys, and you know, they were kind of brushing him off.

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And so I could really see him just you know yearning for that from them.

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And you know at a young age.

00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:14.399
And I could see where in maybe they were getting annoyed with him, and they were you know, then that kind of led to that part of it, toward the pushing and hey, get out of here.

00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:28.079
Um unfortunately but it was give and take, I mean, both sides of it were absolutely kids who do stand out though are targets of just either jealousy, zealous, comparison.

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Because most kids aren't functioning as outgoing people.

00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:42.879
And when they do, I mean, they're going to be noticed, they're going to be picked on, praised, glorified, crushed, all the things, right?

00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:46.079
So, so let's talk about then the high school years.

00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:47.680
Bringing to the high school years.

00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:50.319
Well, I wouldn't even say going back to the middle school.

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Middle school is probably probably the the defining moments in a lot of this is where more of the bullying and the social media and just kind of the feeling like you have to be accepted by everybody came into play for him.

00:08:06.399 --> 00:08:18.639
Even the video gaming platforms and stuff, because he would we would have to go in and at that time Lana, our mother, my mother-in-law was living with us, so his the game room was right next to our bedroom.

00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:26.079
So we were able to hear, you know, things and when he would get upset and you know, he would cry because kids are just me.

00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:30.639
So there he was being bullied and and and harassed even online.

00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:40.000
And that see, we not we society overlooks things like this because every time I move my hands, it changes the camera angle.

00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:50.720
People don't realize the things that kids go through today because we're so busy that we don't have time.

00:08:51.039 --> 00:08:52.000
Well, it's completely different.

00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:53.519
So like I grew up playing video games.

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Like you know I got to had to, you know, Atari, Nintendo, all that stuff, even up to the first Xbox.

00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:03.360
And you know, it never used to be a thing where you would get online and play against other players.

00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:08.320
No, you would you would your your buddy Anthony would come by the house and you'd be like eating all your potato chips.

00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:08.720
Yeah.

00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:10.320
And that's where you would argue right there.

00:09:10.639 --> 00:09:12.799
You would talk trash to you know to the person next to you.

00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:14.960
Right, right next to you.

00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:19.679
But now when you have this online gaming aspect, I was thinking about this the other day.

00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:27.360
It's like, you know, there's so much more courage that some of these kids have to be even more vile and say things that you know.

00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:30.399
Even in that arena.

00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:31.679
Yeah, even in that arena.

00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:42.399
There were a number of times where you know I would be walking by or just kind of in there hanging out with Will while he was playing, and somebody would say something like, you know, oh, you're trash at this, why don't you go kill yourself?

00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:43.120
Right.

00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:47.200
And that was language that people use because they're already playing a violent game.

00:09:47.440 --> 00:09:47.679
Right.

00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:50.799
And so immediately, you know, I would report them and things like that.

00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:51.120
Yeah, yeah.

00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:53.759
They get a ban for two days or whatever, and they're back in it.

00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:54.879
And they're back at it.

00:09:55.279 --> 00:10:07.519
Well, it just shows to you, like, and this is something that we've we try to instill in both of our children, is that there's such a disconnect when you're playing these video games, it's an emotionless tactic.

00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:08.639
There's no emotion.

00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:11.600
There was there's nothing, especially during COVID.

00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:12.399
Oh, yeah.

00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:15.600
You know, COVID is where we feel like it doubled down on that.

00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:20.480
It doubled down on William because of the disconnect of interaction.

00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:22.399
Because he's a kid who's a touch field.

00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:23.440
That's his love language.

00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:28.159
He wants to be around people, he loves the embracing people, yeah.

00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:48.399
But with with social media and video games, and back to your point that we're so busy we're not trying to pay, you know, not that parents, and I don't want to come off that, you know, I know a lot of parents were all busy because we all are, but I don't want it to be that it was a bad parenting skill on anybody.

00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:48.639
Right.

00:10:49.039 --> 00:10:55.519
But at some point, we as parents had to figure out oh my gosh, how are we gonna get control of this?

00:10:55.919 --> 00:10:58.240
Well, some guys it's like we go through that too, you know.

00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:00.720
So it's not just you, we go through like every tell us.

00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:06.639
They love being online and playing video games, and yet it's such a part of so many of these kids' lives.

00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:08.399
It's the identity and the culture, you know.

00:11:08.559 --> 00:11:13.039
It is just as common as we riding 10 speeds back in the day.

00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:14.960
Yeah, no one's riding 10 speeds.

00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:17.200
I don't think a kid even knows what a 10 speed is, right?

00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:22.639
I mean, let's be honest, they they they oh, they have a mountain bike that they've ridden three times.

00:11:22.960 --> 00:11:25.279
Yes, we have that even in our garage.

00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:37.440
So reflecting, just even knowing middle school, and again, what looking back, it's easy to say here here's where the things that were jumping out.

00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:47.200
But as you're going through life, as two busy professionals, as a busy family, sports and this and events and networking and doing this, and and that's just life.

00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:48.559
That's everyone's life, right?

00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:54.799
I don't care, not all of our lives look the same, but life definitely has a busy feel to it.

00:11:55.039 --> 00:11:57.519
So now take me to high school.

00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:06.480
So high school, freshman year, so right before his freshman year, he was doing the football training and stuff during the summer.

00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:07.759
We would drop him off.

00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:10.080
So it was prepping him for the game.

00:12:10.320 --> 00:12:10.639
Absolutely.

00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:14.879
So he would FaceTime me very upset and he would be crying.

00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:21.200
I think a lot of it was, you know, he didn't ever really want to play sports prior to that.

00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:31.759
Yeah, so he was pretty far behind in his athletic ability, so he was getting better and trying, but the kids were really, really just cruel about him not being a good athlete.

00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:34.720
Yeah, because he I mean, and he put a lot of effort in.

00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:44.320
He put a hundred and ten percent, if not more, in that kid just tried, but then he would it would deplete him because they would tell him, You're no good at this, you don't know what you're doing.

00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:49.600
And it was the older kids, and and I think it's just the alpha thing that kids do.

00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:55.039
Yeah, and I would tell him, you know what, you tell them where to go and you show them differently.

00:12:55.360 --> 00:12:57.519
You be the bulldog, you tell them.

00:12:57.679 --> 00:13:02.559
Yeah, and that's I I you know, I encouraged him to to compete.

00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:03.279
To compete.

00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:05.120
I'm like, just say, bring it on.

00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:08.080
I go, how do you think you're you know, your your mom says that?

00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:11.679
If I if there's something I don't know, I I say bring it on, I'm gonna learn it.

00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:12.720
Yeah, you know.

00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:14.720
He was doing a great job with it too.

00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:18.799
He was, you know, his level, his skill level was increasing and increasing and increasing.

00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:20.480
Weightlifting.

00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:32.000
And then he he got hurt in one of the football games where he went to make a tackle and landed on his knee and hobbled off, and he had fractured his kneecap.

00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:34.240
Oh, yeah.

00:13:34.559 --> 00:13:40.559
So when that happened, there's really there wasn't a lot that they could do for a fractured kneecap other than stay off of it.

00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:41.039
Correct.

00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:42.720
And so not played.

00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:51.200
So he was on crutches, and so he didn't have it wrapped or anything because there was nothing they could do for it while everybody was telling him he was faking it.

00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:56.960
And so then they were bullying him even more about oh, you're not hurt, you're just playing hurt, you're a baby, all this stuff.

00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:07.200
And you know, as you know, he was already getting it from the you know, the team from he wasn't the best on the team, but now it was hey, you're you're making this up and lying about it.

00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:10.080
Let me ask you this, okay, aside from the team.

00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:15.919
So you'd pick him up from practice or a game, and you know, some days they don't have great games or great practice.

00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:21.279
Sat in the back of the car, I'm sure, you know, when you guys picked him up or next to you.

00:14:21.759 --> 00:14:27.039
Do you ever remember the deafening silence, or was there any deafening silence ever?

00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:28.799
Or did he take it personally?

00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:32.399
Or no, he loved being out there, like he loved football.

00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:38.639
Yeah, but he, you know, that was the part where he loved being out there so much that the other part of it, you know, he just stuffed.

00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:38.960
Yeah.

00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:40.720
He never complained about it.

00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:46.879
You know, Kate, like you said, you know, when he would FaceTime Lisa, but yeah, yeah, you know, you'd say, Hey, how was practice?

00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:47.519
Great, awesome.

00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:48.799
Oh my gosh, it's so good.

00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:49.360
Yeah, yeah.

00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:51.039
Did this, did this, boom, boom, boom.

00:14:51.360 --> 00:15:08.879
Because you know, you have this syndrome lately of kids in general, you know, you can see the emotions of sports and the pressure of performance and the pressure of grades and clothes and cars and parties and and all the things, right?

00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:23.600
And you know, and and I will tell you that, you know, my own son watching Mason, you know, have a bad game, sit in the car, and this is not about him, but I this is about a lot of kids who just shut down.

00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:26.480
But he was Will was not shutting down.

00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:27.919
He was powering through.

00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:31.039
And it's you know, it was almost that false front.

00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:37.440
You know, he was putting on that, you know, that to appease you guys and appease everyone just to make sure everyone knows no one worried.

00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:38.639
Right, it's not a big deal.

00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:42.159
In a year leading up in his junior year, right?

00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:45.360
It was no freshman year, yeah.

00:15:45.679 --> 00:16:00.000
Sorry, and freshman year, was there any signs in that year that that stood out to you like beyond the other stuff, but like, oh my gosh, is there at risk where you thought no way, this is not gonna be, but what did you say?

00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:04.559
So so his there were signs that were starting to show.

00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:15.600
I mean besides him snapping some of his friends, some of his friends, it was he would have, and it was like this when he was little too, he would have complete meltdowns.

00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:31.519
Like if he didn't have his way with something like a video game, or if he couldn't, he could he wasn't processing, he had the inability to like be able to talk about his emotions of you know what, I'm feeling like you know, I feel I'm I'm upset because of this.

00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:39.279
No, he would just immediately, it was everything was reactionary for him, and it would take us like three days to get him off that ledge sometimes.

00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.559
Overs stimulation, nothing else could get processed in his own.

00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:48.159
It was so far up here that he would go to sleep, wake up, and it would start all over immediately.

00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:48.799
Right.

00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:51.759
There was no escape from it, it was just he was in that state.

00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:55.600
Yeah, it was just there was no survival mode, there was nothing.

00:16:55.759 --> 00:16:58.399
He was just like super heightened.

00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:08.880
And we would see stuff in in his text messages, like with you know, during these times during playing the video games, because again, the kids were all saying, Oh, you're trash and all this other stuff.

00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:13.839
And so the first time that I we really saw it was probably his eighth grade year toward the end of it.

00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:18.480
He had said something to his friends of I'm just gonna kill myself then.

00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:23.279
Because they were messing with him and telling him he's bad at Fortnite, and you know, he couldn't do that.

00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:30.000
He was really good at Fortnite, but you know, he just you know, he he lost a round, and so they were just you know telling him how bad he was.

00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:32.160
So he took that so to heart.

00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:42.400
And so that was the first time, and so I we I confronted him with Lisa about it and just said, Hey, like can you explain you know what's going on here?

00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:44.960
And he goes, Oh dad, I I would never do that.

00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:48.000
It's it's just something we say, and okay.

00:17:48.079 --> 00:17:50.400
So he expressed specifically like that.

00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:59.759
Yeah, what I was in the moment, I was pissed off, I was I did not, you know, yeah, they were just giving me a hard time, and I just said that out of out of just kind of a yeah, a rage to get a reaction from them.

00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.720
So so I was like, okay, I feel you know, I I couldn't buy that.

00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:05.279
Okay.

00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:10.720
And then the other time when we knew it was really serious when he brought up Halloween.

00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:15.759
So he actually had sent a snap to two of his friends on Halloween that night.

00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:21.279
And actually it was a it took a picture of our gun.

00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:26.000
And his friend actually went to his mom and I got a call the next day.

00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:27.920
Okay, so the mom reached out to you?

00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:29.759
No, reached out to 988.

00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:32.400
The it's the it's the suicide line.

00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:37.839
Yeah, oh so they called the 988 and then said, Hey, I think something is happening.

00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:39.920
So we got a call the next day.

00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:42.079
How did that make you feel when that happened?

00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:45.279
Like, did you feel like were you mad at them?

00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:47.200
No, no, not at all.

00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:53.200
I remember it vividly because she came in and just like there was this this weight on her.

00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:55.759
And when she told me, it was just like what?

00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:57.680
There's nothing that prepares you to hear that.

00:18:58.160 --> 00:18:59.759
You feel helpless.

00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:02.799
You've been holding yourself back for a couple minutes now.

00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:08.319
I want you to really like I want you to be able to have a chance to express yourself right now.

00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:10.480
I felt like I failed him.

00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:18.720
You when he I always tell him this, we prayed for him and God gave him to us because we wanted to be parents so bad.

00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:27.039
So when you come to that moment of your son who you just cherish every little thing, every movement from the day he was born.

00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:31.759
And he you wonder why do you want to leave me?

00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:35.279
You know, so that's what I felt at that moment.

00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:46.000
And when we talked to him about it, and I remember him sitting on my little rocking chair, you could tell he was so just like, Oh my gosh, I have to talk about this.

00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:46.960
This is serious.

00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:48.880
He convinced us he would never do it.

00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:49.680
No, no, no.

00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:56.720
But we immediately We saw something different in him at that point to where it was he wasn't that bright.

00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:58.960
That wasn't that bright of a light light.

00:19:59.119 --> 00:20:02.319
No, it was it was more dark, yeah, and more just kind of somber.

00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:06.799
You know, he was trying to trying to express things and he couldn't.

00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:07.200
Yeah.

00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:09.200
Was he angry at you guys?

00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:10.480
A little bit.

00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:13.440
Angry for trying to know prod or horse.

00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:14.319
That's what I mean.

00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:16.400
That's what I mean.

00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:19.039
Angry to prod, angry that you're trying to reach out.

00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:20.079
He just didn't want to talk about it.

00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:20.400
Right.

00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:22.640
He wanted to shut down the conversation and move on.

00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.319
He yeah, he just was like, whatever.

00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:31.440
So the biggest thing was the difficult part is finding therapy is hard.

00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:36.799
Finding therapy that meets your insurance is hard.

00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:40.880
Finding insurance finding therapy you can afford is difficult.

00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:42.319
Finding the time.

00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:46.480
Finding the time, finding everything was hard.

00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:48.400
Finding a psychiatrist was hard.

00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:59.119
So I was blessed, and I don't remember how I came across our psychiatrist, but we got him into a psychiatrist immediately, and then it kind of just went from there.

00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:00.240
I think it was the next day.

00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:07.039
So that's on the day that we found out, yeah, either the next day or the day after we had him in seeing a psychiatrist.

00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:08.160
A psychiatrist.

00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:16.559
The therapist part was difficult because now it's finding someone who meets his personality who is it good for him.

00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:25.759
And so I had met with one and well it's the insurance, it's the scheduling, it's who's taking new patients on.

00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:28.559
There's eight different factors to get help.

00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:31.359
And and I I wanna I wanna highlight this.

00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:36.720
So so when someone says, you know, go go get some help, go talk to somebody.

00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:52.880
I want people to realize that it is a process, it is research, insurance, cost, time, personality, fit, discipline, it's 18 probably things before you find the right one.

00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:57.119
And and I think so many people just give up because they they can't go through that process.

00:21:57.519 --> 00:22:00.480
I won't go on hold for two minutes to order pizza.

00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:01.920
Do you understand what I'm saying?

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:04.559
Let alone that's pizza.

00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:04.960
Yeah.

00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:06.240
Do you know what I mean?

00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:09.119
Like so it is it's very daunting.

00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:13.200
I mean, it it was from that moment forward.

00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:28.880
I even after the incident, I um it being on the finding the right doctors that are just can, you know, you learn so much just for for a teenager, just to find for a teenager.

00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:39.759
There's not a lot out there for you know, kids, these kids who are suffering substantially on from a mental health perspective, of they just need someone to talk to outside of us.

00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:46.880
Well, you can't be at a dinner party and go, hey, Marge, what therapist do you use?

00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:48.079
Exactly.

00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:51.440
And to that point, Jay, not everybody talks about mental health.

00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:57.599
That's the part I'm even talking about because now Lisa, do you does your son see it?

00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:01.039
Why do they whisper like we're doing something bad?

00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:03.440
But we were those parents at that moment.

00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:12.480
So we were like when we got the therapist, and then he was starting to put on med, he was put on uh Prozac, we were like, Don't tell your friends.

00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:15.519
We were those parents, we're not like that now.

00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:23.680
But then it was like we didn't want because he was dealing with so much bullying, we didn't want the impact of him being judged even more.

00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:30.240
So we thought Oh, yeah, now you're on meds because you can't like and the word letter P, did you say Prozac?

00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:30.960
Yeah, right.

00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:33.359
People take Prozac, or you know, are you creative?

00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:34.240
Yeah, are you creative?

00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.279
Are you are you are you about to snap?

00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:41.279
And and so this is your chance to normalize a bit of that.

00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:41.759
Yeah.

00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:43.680
I want you to look into that camera.

00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:50.240
And and and there's a mom right now who is like, I no one in our family's ever had this problem.

00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:52.400
We're all high achievers.

00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:53.359
Like, what do you say to them?

00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:54.400
Don't be ashamed of it.

00:23:54.480 --> 00:24:03.759
No, I was I was anti-meds, you know, like we know we talked about getting Will on, you know, some sort of you know ADHD drug, and I was completely against it.

00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.240
In hindsight, I should have been more open to that.

00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:22.000
Now, my purpose is to be able to make sure everyone understands that this needs to be a discussion, but that is an open, maybe even a dinner table discussion to where it's not anything you should feel bad about.

00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:24.559
You're this is just what happens, this is where we are.

00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:30.319
There's nothing to be ashamed of to take care of yourself and to be an advocate for your kids.

00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:42.799
Let you know, take them to if you don't like the doctor that you went to, if you don't like those answers, it is okay to do your own research and it's okay to ask those questions and challenge your doctors.

00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:44.079
Find another doctor.

00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:52.960
Find another doctor because there's nothing wrong with that, because you want to make sure you get the right meds for your ch children, the right med meds for yourself.

00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:57.200
And if you don't feel right, challenge them, challenge your psychiatrist.

00:24:57.599 --> 00:25:03.759
And that was the challenge with the meds as well was that everybody reacts different to different medications.

00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:05.519
Prozac was not good for Will.

00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:05.759
No.

00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:12.559
And as he was on it, we started seeing him go down a darker path.

00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:14.960
Like it it wasn't helping, it was getting worse.

00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:19.440
Was this this was still leading up to Yeah?

00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:24.559
So this was so October, you know, so early November, he was put on, we he got on to Prozac.

00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:36.880
Okay, and then we were trying that out for a month or so, I guess two, three months, and we we actually called a doctor and and said, this isn't working for him.

00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:38.559
We need to have something different.

00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:40.160
You challenge what the doctor was.

00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:42.240
That was what probably February.

00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:46.079
It was towards the end of end of January, early February.

00:25:46.319 --> 00:25:51.039
Because around that time we were also working closely with the school psychologist.

00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:53.279
So there's a whole team of people.

00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:54.000
There's a whole team.

00:25:54.160 --> 00:26:05.200
It's not just a therapist, it's not just a doctor, it's not just the school, all the administration knew every we were getting a village around him to try to because we knew that this was serious.

00:26:05.599 --> 00:26:07.039
And then his grades were going down.

00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:10.480
So we got him, we're getting him on an IEP program as well.

00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:11.920
What's what does that mean?

00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:12.799
Can you tell him?

00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:14.799
Individualized education plan.

00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:15.839
What does that mean?

00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:17.200
It's it's custom to him.

00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:18.000
Yep.

00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:25.119
So everything that you know, because again, some kids with learning disabilities may need additional time or a quiet space to take a test.

00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:28.960
So these are all the accommodations that they were putting in place for him.

00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:41.440
So that way, you know, if somebody got done with the test first and he's still over there, he's not thinking that you know people are judging him for being slow or that's you know, you're a double and that's part of Trust me.

00:26:41.599 --> 00:26:45.920
I I was there as a kid, but and at that time we found out he had ADHD.

00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:46.960
Okay, yeah.

00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:49.200
So it was true diagnosed ADHD.

00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:52.960
Yeah, so that's where it was all starting to align at that point.

00:26:53.119 --> 00:27:00.880
So we're now we're at this point, we're going and his grades were still failing and everything, and he was wanting to be with his friends over his homework.

00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:12.799
So then we started it was the week before the incident is when we started having all these meetings and stuff with the school counselor was in there, psychologists, just a plethora of teachers.

00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:14.799
So this was a week before the incident.

00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:24.319
Yeah, it was probably the Friday before that it was actually the Friday before we all met, because the then that following Tuesday is when it happened.

00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:26.720
Okay, so we thought we were making good progress.

00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:30.400
Yeah, we thought we things were starting to align, you know, he was buying into it.

00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:36.799
You're doing everything that a parent can do, everything your responsibility, you that the best resources.

00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:41.519
I'm sure you had your arms around him, you know, hugged it even tighter, and then Tuesday happens.

00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.920
We were at the point where we weren't even leaving him alone.

00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:50.559
Like he was never left alone from the time October 31st when the next day we got the call, he was not left alone.

00:27:50.799 --> 00:27:53.039
It's hard to live like that for you too, right?

00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:55.680
We were living in fear.

00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:59.039
Can I ask what it did to you?

00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:00.559
Did it strain your marriage?

00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:01.599
Did it for sure.

00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:02.000
Yeah.

00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:08.240
You know, because you know, you know, you're trying to to find the best result for you know your child.

00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:15.279
And you know, your idea might be this, and you know, her idea might be something different, and you know, you're just you're throwing things up.

00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:18.720
Family doesn't mean you agree on every single thing.

00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:30.000
So in you know, if I if I you may not like it, and she may not have liked what I had to say, or if I was you know sniffy about you know something back, it's you know, it does put a strain on it.

00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:30.720
We were maxed out.

00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:32.160
Because you're just worried.

00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:37.359
Not maxed, I don't want to say maxed out, but we were pretty close on our stress levels.

00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:38.880
It had to be.

00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:39.920
It had to be.

00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:46.079
I mean, if your kid has a broken finger, you stress out and you hope the finger heals well.

00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:48.160
This is bigger than a broken finger.

00:28:48.640 --> 00:29:00.480
You know, take me back to what life was like, and and the reason why I'm doing this is because I want someone to identify and say, shoot, why are we wasting our time when we could be strengthening, right?

00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:03.279
Like, was there time wasted between you two?

00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:06.559
Like at just wasteful thoughts of anger.

00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:07.440
Yes.

00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:08.480
I'm sure there was.

00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:09.359
I think so.

00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:10.559
It was such a whirlwind.

00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:12.559
And I'm not trying to play counselor right now.

00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:19.680
I'm just what I'm trying to do is it's really, it's really hard to pinpoint for me anyway, because I felt like I was living in a whirlwind.

00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:22.160
Like I didn't know what was up, I didn't know what was down.

00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:26.160
All I knew was the terror of losing your kid.

00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:27.359
Yeah, your baby.

00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:32.079
And it's hard to put into that perspective because I'd never experienced it before.

00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:32.559
Yeah.

00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:34.480
I mean, you don't know what to do.

00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:34.880
Yeah.

00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:40.720
It's not there's no playbook that you just you know follow and say, Oh, yeah, all you gotta do is this, this, this, and everything's good.

00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:45.599
And Will and I are like we're playbook individuals.

00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:50.000
Like when I was pregnant, you know, you have that book that you read to what to expect.

00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:51.839
Oh, what to expect when you're expecting.

00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:52.559
Yes.

00:29:52.640 --> 00:29:54.319
And I'm I like to meet the author.

00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:59.839
Well, I read it, he read it, yeah, and we're like, okay, you need, you know, and this, and that's just how.

00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:04.079
How we've I mean, not so much anymore, but we're very, we're very structured.

00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:05.279
Yeah, oh structured, yeah.

00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:06.960
Yeah, and that's like we prepared for it.

00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:08.160
We're just we prepare.

00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:10.160
I mean, we've always looking ahead and everything.

00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:24.720
So when you have a situation where you can't look ahead and you're trying to look ahead, but it's dark, you see, I mean you know nothing, and you know it's I it's just a demon that is inside my kid.

00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:27.359
And how do you pull that out of a kid?

00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:34.000
And then you know, you're dealing with you know, it's you say, Hey, were you able to get a hold of any therapists or any of this?

00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:34.480
Nope.

00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:42.000
And so, like, you know, it's you know, time is precious when you're you know faced with something like this, and it's like like I don't know what else to do.

00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:48.160
740 at night when you're having these conversations like you get busy and you know we both were are working.

00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:48.640
Yeah, yeah.

00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:50.720
It's like, hey, did you call them this morning?

00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:55.440
No, I was pulled into a meeting and yeah, whatever, and that's more pressure and stress.

00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:57.759
And and we also have our daughter, yeah.

00:30:58.079 --> 00:30:59.359
So we have all our energy.

00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:09.519
We're not trying not, you know, we have to put all our energy into William, but we also have to give our energy to our daughter so that way she's never left out of anything.

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:22.400
We to, you know, you always want to embrace both your kids, but there's always one child at at a moment, and it's and when I say a moment, a moment is such elongated word if since it could be a moment for six months to a year.

00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:29.519
It's and you have to remember and and say, Oh my gosh, Mackenzie come here.

00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:32.079
Yeah, I love you.

00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:33.920
Yeah, you know, you do.

00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.400
I you know what, honey, I know we're focused here, but we love you.

00:31:36.799 --> 00:31:53.519
And that's something that you have to make sure that you know, because other kids and this and this is I I I feel for parents because when you're dealing with a kid or a significant other with the mental illness, your children are not purposely forgotten.

00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:54.160
Right.

00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:59.759
We just some your brain can only hold so much, you know.

00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:00.720
I agree with that.

00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:03.119
And that goes with any that goes with a grocery list.

00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:10.799
Yes, that goes with job responsibilities, that goes with packing your items, it goes with forgetting your keys where they are.

00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:15.039
How can you keep life together under the stress?

00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:20.160
Especially under stress when you go on vacation and your brain is jumbled, that's one thing.

00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:24.960
But when you're going dark in your life and you're being challenged, how do you function, right?

00:32:25.119 --> 00:32:27.839
I I want to enter this next part carefully, okay?

00:32:28.079 --> 00:32:30.799
Again, this is not for the shock and on sensation.

00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:34.240
Two Tuesday comes and you got a call, I'm sure.

00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:37.359
And we don't need to relive every moment, but speak as you're comfortable.

00:32:37.839 --> 00:32:39.119
And we're okay with reliving now.

00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:40.160
Yeah, we're okay.

00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:47.839
I mean that that's again, like I said, our our mission in all of this is to be there for other people that you know are going through something similar.

00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:53.359
And we're still, I mean, because I know for myself I'm still healing from it, but the more I talk about it, the more I heal.

00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:57.440
So I he just so happened.

00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:01.279
And again, I and I'm putting this out there, this is all God.

00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:04.720
This is nothing to do with anything.

00:33:05.039 --> 00:33:10.319
God aligns everything for you when you least expect it.

00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:14.559
So everything's always they owe you, everybody always says this in God's timing.

00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:19.519
This this is so true in so many aspects.

00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:30.480
So he just so happened to have a hair appointment that day because Will and Big Will and his little will go to a certain, you know, somebody that they got like to go to.

00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:33.759
And Nana was in town for his birthday.

00:33:34.079 --> 00:33:39.519
And so I was at work and he was at work, and my kids actually uh at a networking.

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:40.720
Oh, you were golfing.

00:33:41.039 --> 00:33:42.000
No, I was just at a networking.

00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:42.720
Oh, that's right.

00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:49.039
And so I I had planned to tape Will to get his haircut and had to leave by you know five o'clock.

00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:51.200
I looked down, it was 5'10.

00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:54.480
And I said, Oh man, I'm we're gonna be a few minutes.

00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:56.960
Mackenzie was blowing up both of our phones.

00:33:57.279 --> 00:34:02.079
So I called, well, first off, I called Will to say, Hey, be ready to go when I get there.

00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:02.880
We're gonna be coming in.

00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:04.640
I'm gonna come in hot, we're gonna go.

00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:06.240
And didn't answer.

00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:09.039
So I called Mackenzie and said, Hey, where's your brother?

00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:13.039
I need you to go tell him that he needs to be ready when I get there.

00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:14.079
She was not answering you.

00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:14.719
And she did.

00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:15.199
She answered.

00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:15.840
Oh yeah.

00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.960
Okay, because she So this is what sparked her to go look at.

00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:20.639
And I have no idea what's going on.

00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:21.360
I'm at work.

00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:22.719
So she'd mentioned You don't even know.

00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:23.519
Don't even work.

00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:25.039
I yeah, I sorry to interrupt you.

00:34:25.119 --> 00:34:26.079
I never worked late.

00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:30.320
I usually but left at a certain time every day, but I decided to work late that night for some reason.

00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.559
So Mackenzie mentioned that she had uh was looking for Will.

00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:40.480
So I had sparked that by calling her and saying, Hey, I need you to go find Will and tell him that he needs to be ready.

00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:49.039
So as I'm driving, I'm on the phone with a client talking over some things, and Mackenzie calls me.

00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:51.039
And so I was like, I'll just call her back.

00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:56.320
And so then she called again, and I was on the, you know, I was almost home.

00:34:56.400 --> 00:34:56.800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:59.360
I was almost home, so I was like, oh, let's talk to you, talk to you when I get there.

00:34:59.599 --> 00:35:05.519
And then she I was driving and I and I saw a fire truck pull into our neighborhood.

00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:13.679
And so this was, you know, I'm on 168th, heading toward uh queue, and it was a ways down there, so I wasn't thinking anything.

00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:18.239
And then I I turned the corner into our subdivision and I see the fire truck at my house.

00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:21.840
Well, my mom was there, so I thought at first something happened to my mom.

00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:29.679
And then as I'm parking and pulling up, they're wheeling Will out on a stretcher.

00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.000
And the first thing I heard was, we got a pulse, Dad.

00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:35.840
And so my mind is just I don't even know what's happening right now.

00:35:35.920 --> 00:35:37.440
And I didn't know anything.

00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:40.639
And then Mackenzie came out and said, Will tried to take his life.

00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:48.400
And so as I'm processing all of this and trying to figure out where they're taking him, and I knew that I had to call Lisa, which is okay, take a moment.

00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:50.400
Hardest call I've ever had to make in my life.

00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:52.239
Again, nothing can prepare you for that.

00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:52.800
Yeah.

00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:54.000
You called her.

00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:54.559
Yeah.

00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:56.000
She answered the phone.

00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:58.400
And I was like, What's going on?

00:35:58.480 --> 00:35:59.119
Why isn't it?

00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:01.840
Because I thought the kids were arguing because I never work late.

00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:04.960
I called her, I said, Hey, you have to get down to children's right now.

00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:06.320
We'll try to take his life.

00:36:06.559 --> 00:36:08.639
That was the exact words, just like that.

00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:10.079
We have to get down there.

00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:10.719
It's us.

00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:12.559
And I just screamed.

00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:14.159
I screamed.

00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:16.960
There are people in the office, and all I said was no.

00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:19.920
I said, No, no.

00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:24.639
So I got in the car, I called my boss, told him I'm not gonna be in for a while.

00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:27.599
I told him I happen, and I screamed.

00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:31.840
I screamed at God the whole time.

00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:48.000
But the thing about God is he's so good because he's like at some point he was like, Lisa, because I'm like, that's my son, and you will not take him from me.

00:36:48.960 --> 00:37:01.920
He said, Lisa, he was my son first, and so we and then I just I became a little bit more peaceful for some reason because God just resignated in me.

00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:04.239
And so I just started praying.

00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:05.119
I started praying.

00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:06.800
I'm like, you know, you just pray.

00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:15.199
And I called my niece, who God bless her, she dropped everything to come be with our family, and she's like, Lisa, it's gonna be okay.

00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:16.960
And I'm like, how does she know?

00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:18.400
How do you know?

00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:19.760
Because you don't know.

00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:23.760
And I get there and I try to get out of the car.

00:37:24.639 --> 00:37:30.239
I left the car running, and I I remember running back, and then I was running.

00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:35.519
And I this older gentleman stopped and he says, How can I help you?

00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:36.639
And I said, My son's here.

00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:40.639
I said, Well, Cummings, I need my son and the paramedics.

00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:44.159
He came out and he hugged me and he says, Mom, we have a pulse.

00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:46.000
He's gonna be fine.

00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:48.000
And I'm like, How do you know?

00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:52.639
You know, and you're trying not to be angry because you don't know.

00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:56.880
Anger is so where we go first, and that's not what God wants us.

00:37:57.119 --> 00:37:58.559
He wants us to lean into him.

00:37:58.719 --> 00:38:04.079
And it was I was trying so hard at that moment, but I couldn't, we were so clouded.

00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:16.239
And I remember running, running through the doors, and you go and you look over at your son with a million people around him, and I started screaming and I said, devil, you will not take my kid today.

00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:18.639
Satan, he is not yours, he's mine.

00:38:18.880 --> 00:38:22.159
And I just was screaming at I just repeated it over and over.

00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:27.440
And then there's a chaplain who was so sweet, and then he walked in and was praying with us.

00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:35.519
And I I didn't, I just I felt out of control at that point, but I just kept praying, and that's what we did from that moment on.

00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:36.800
We prayed.

00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:41.599
We just prayed, and then we were upstairs as I waited.

00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:42.800
I paced and waited for us.

00:38:42.960 --> 00:38:49.440
And there was this other chaplain that came that looked like Jesus, like Nisa, and he was super amazing.

00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:52.000
He looked like Jesus, never saw the guy again.

00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.199
Never saw the guy again, but he was with us.

00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:58.079
He was with us the entire time until we went in with Will.

00:38:58.400 --> 00:39:01.119
And then we never saw him.

00:39:01.280 --> 00:39:02.960
We asked for him, we asked about him.

00:39:03.599 --> 00:39:05.840
But I talked to Becky and then Aileen.

00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:07.599
When did you call Becky?

00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:09.199
The moment we got upstairs.

00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:12.320
I talked to Aileen because I was supposed to meet with the girls that night.

00:39:12.559 --> 00:39:14.639
And Becky, her, all of them.

00:39:14.719 --> 00:39:15.599
And then Becky called.

00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:16.719
That's right.

00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:18.400
That's right.

00:39:18.719 --> 00:39:30.320
Then Becky calls me, and you know, it was such a village, you know, because I didn't believe in villages until I'm we're surrounded by some amazing people.

00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:36.159
And you know, Becky started that meal train for us, and then you know, everybody just came together.

00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:37.920
It just don't even remember.

00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:44.079
Yeah, she just ran with that, and it was just Angela, everybody said ECS, everybody just chipped in together.

00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:55.760
But we are, you know, nothing prepares you when you go in to see when you go to see your son and you finally get to go in there.

00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:57.519
It's crazy.

00:39:57.760 --> 00:40:02.320
It took a long time too to get in there hours because of the incident and what had happened.

00:40:03.280 --> 00:40:05.280
You know, the police are doing their investigation.

00:40:05.599 --> 00:40:06.800
They're asking you guys all the time.

00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:07.920
They didn't even talk to us.

00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:18.159
They talked to us when we were first at the house, but when we were at the hospital, it took us probably over an hour, maybe closer to an hour and a half, to get into the room with him.

00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:19.840
Like eternity.

00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:22.239
They had to do they're still doing their investigation.

00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:30.079
They were getting him all prepped and everything, and then before we got in there, the police had to go in and do their finish their reports.

00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:36.800
If it's okay, I want to fast forward to the doctor sitting down with you or the team with the nurses or whoever.

00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:38.159
What was the bad news?

00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:41.440
Were they like, hey, I need to tell you something?

00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:44.880
Well, they're doing all kinds of tests, you know, from the get-go.

00:40:45.199 --> 00:40:58.320
And so one of the tests we which we had to wait for for the next day, or maybe later that day, I can't remember, was just an MRI on his brain, because that was the concern you know, with was how long was he deprived of oxygen?

00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:09.039
And we were estimating it between five to eight minutes because his last post he posted something on Snapchat at five o'clock saying basically what he was going to do.

00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:14.320
Goodbye, world, and then by the time that McKenzie found him and they got him.

00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:18.079
It'd been around like almost like almost like ten minutes, actually.

00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:25.440
So we don't know how long we don't know how long from the time he sent that snap to then tried.

00:41:25.679 --> 00:41:38.000
I mean, that's a long time, you know, and again, I I'm not a medical professional by any means, but back to the feeling of hey, mom, dad, what were they telling he's not gonna walk, he's not gonna what was he telling you he wasn't?

00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:40.159
What were they telling you that he wasn't gonna be?

00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:44.480
I forget the name of it, but it's like an umbilical cord on a baby.

00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:55.840
So they we were essentially told that he's never going to because due to the suffocation of you know not breathing, he's and it was like back here.

00:41:56.079 --> 00:42:04.559
It's I got a medical term, just yeah, that he's never gonna eat, he's he's not gonna be able to walk, talk, eat, or anything again on his own.

00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:05.199
On his own.

00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:09.199
Okay, so at that moment, they gave you that news.

00:42:09.679 --> 00:42:10.639
I didn't accept it.

00:42:10.800 --> 00:42:15.599
But it's you know, it's one of those things where you know your whole brain, your mind is in shock.

00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:18.800
Yeah, like you're like, okay, yeah, what?

00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:19.840
Yeah.

00:42:20.159 --> 00:42:25.760
It's it's it's disbelief and you know, it's trying to figure out what the next steps are.

00:42:26.159 --> 00:42:37.360
And we were we were trying to like put together what what we might need for our house and stuff, but I I didn't you were already I'm like, I'm not gonna accept this.

00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:39.360
But in your mind, you're preparing for that.

00:42:39.519 --> 00:42:44.960
So I was always I was already thinking I needed to do uh concrete all the way around my house if we need to have him in the basement.

00:42:45.039 --> 00:42:46.880
And you know, this is just amazing.

00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:53.280
So by day three, he was breathing on his own and stuff.

00:42:53.360 --> 00:42:57.599
So they start going around, the doctors start feeling to take the tube out.

00:42:57.920 --> 00:43:06.159
Oh, Will told me to ask you about this, or or Mackenzie said day they said they were gonna take it out, but they didn't.

00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:09.039
And you said No, you're taking it out.

00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:12.719
He left me, it was a Sunday, and he said, Be nice.

00:43:12.880 --> 00:43:14.719
He I'm not laughing.

00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:17.199
No, it's no, but I I know you're old.

00:43:17.760 --> 00:43:18.320
I know you.

00:43:18.639 --> 00:43:19.280
But it's better.

00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:20.800
There's there's a better story to this.

00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:28.400
Tell it to day three, because like he was squeezing our hands because the doctor's like he has to show us motion that he can hear us.

00:43:28.639 --> 00:43:43.760
Well, I I want to just back up a few steps here because I actually what I did is I called our church and I talked to one lady, and then I called James, which is his youth pastor.

00:43:44.239 --> 00:43:47.280
We got a text saying, Hey, excited to see you guys at Switch tonight.

00:43:47.360 --> 00:43:48.320
So this was the next night.

00:43:48.480 --> 00:43:50.639
So Tuesday, Wednesday was switch.

00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:52.719
So excited to see you guys at Switch.

00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:56.400
So we sent a text to James, Brian, and Tommy.

00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:57.360
Yeah, explaining.

00:43:57.760 --> 00:43:58.880
No, no, I called James.

00:43:58.960 --> 00:44:00.000
I didn't send the text yet.

00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:01.599
Oh, first.

00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:14.639
I I called him from Will's phone, and you know, he's like, Hey, because they were because at the time it was like football season, you know, it's football season, they're all putting their names of who they or the teams that they want and stuff like that.

00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:16.639
And I was like, James, this is Lisa.

00:44:16.719 --> 00:44:18.480
I go, I have something to tell you.

00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:24.480
So he dropped everything, and that was a Thursday that's like in Louisville or something.

00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:27.199
He was at a basketball tournament with his face.

00:44:28.320 --> 00:44:30.159
He dropped everything and he drove there.

00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:36.079
And between him and Brian and Tommy, that kid would light up when they would come in the room.

00:44:36.239 --> 00:44:39.840
He hadn't even opened his eyes at that point, wasn't acknowledging people.

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:45.360
And here comes James, he heard his voice and opened his eyes and acknowledged him.

00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:47.119
So we prayed at that moment.

00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:52.000
So that's when we started calling on people, his sister, my sister, our family.

00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:55.119
We had like all the prayer warriors, all the prayer churches.

00:44:55.199 --> 00:44:59.280
Like Emily reached out to like there was like she said like 700 churches.

00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:10.159
We had the entire Christian unity just came in as a stronghold because they would they James prayed over him immediately.

00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:14.800
So that's when I knew me not accepting his diagnosis.

00:45:14.960 --> 00:45:16.400
I'm like, it's in God's hands.

00:45:16.559 --> 00:45:22.800
Yeah, I even told the doctors your science terminology, whatever you got, your medical terms mean nothing to me.

00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:23.679
I don't care about that.

00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:29.199
I don't, I told a whole like five or six of these women standing there, and I go, I don't accept this.

00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:30.079
And I would walk away.

00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:32.320
Hey, doctors, your education's no good here.

00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:33.039
Not for me.

00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:34.159
I get it.

00:45:34.320 --> 00:45:35.039
You know what I mean?

00:45:35.119 --> 00:45:38.400
Because I'm like, this is God, and they would kind of go, you know, good thing you're praying.

00:45:38.559 --> 00:45:39.840
I'm like, no, it's I'm praying.

00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:42.960
And we would we prayed over him morning, noon, and night.

00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:48.719
One doctor in particular just kept saying, you know, because we they were trying to, you know, see whether he was responsive.

00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:54.719
And you know, he would squeeze my hand, I would I was like, you know, talk to him, he'd squeeze it, and they're like, Oh, it's involuntary.

00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:56.800
And I said, No, it's not.

00:45:57.039 --> 00:45:58.559
I know when my son's squeezing my hand.

00:45:58.960 --> 00:46:04.880
They were telling you that it was just just yeah impulses, yeah, brains and neurons firing, and it's just happening.

00:46:05.199 --> 00:46:06.800
So he left.

00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:08.639
James left.

00:46:09.440 --> 00:46:09.920
He left.

00:46:10.159 --> 00:46:14.239
So this is a few days after we got prayer warriors and everything going on.

00:46:14.320 --> 00:46:16.960
And I'm like, okay, so he's acknowledging us.

00:46:17.119 --> 00:46:20.320
And she's the doctors would go, Well, well, he's not acknowledged because they reach in.

00:46:20.480 --> 00:46:20.960
No, he's not.

00:46:21.039 --> 00:46:22.239
I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand.

00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:23.280
He's pulling it out today.

00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.199
And she was like arguing with me.

00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:28.639
And I said, Listen, this is what you're doing today.

00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:31.679
I don't care what you're saying, but we're doing Sunday.

00:46:31.840 --> 00:46:32.480
It was on a Sunday.

00:46:32.559 --> 00:46:35.199
I said, We're pulling it out, and that's it.

00:46:35.519 --> 00:46:39.360
Because once you do that, my kid is gonna thrive.

00:46:40.159 --> 00:46:45.920
And I walked out and then I came back, and there's another doctor, so then I lost it again.

00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:49.119
Now I I wanted to say so much more, but I didn't.

00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:55.920
But I did issues with what you were doing, like to say we won't hold you in harm or no.

00:46:56.320 --> 00:46:59.039
They just thought it was better for him not to have that off.

00:46:59.280 --> 00:47:06.960
So what she's one doctor said, Well, if if he doesn't respond to it, we're gonna have to put it back in it, can make it worse.

00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:08.719
I said, No, it's going to be fine.

00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:09.760
I know my son.

00:47:10.079 --> 00:47:13.280
So they we took it out.

00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:17.360
So Mackenzie and my mom and I were at church that morning.

00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:18.719
We went to the early service.

00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:19.840
And you were there by yourself.

00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:21.119
She was at the hospital by herself.

00:47:21.679 --> 00:47:28.480
He told me to be nice, and so you know, this is you know, 9:30, 9 o'clock, maybe, yeah, about 9:30 when we get out.

00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:32.960
And so I'm calling her to tell her that we're on our way.

00:47:33.199 --> 00:47:35.440
Hey, we're on our way, you know, whatever.

00:47:35.679 --> 00:47:37.760
And so phone picks up here.

00:47:38.239 --> 00:47:39.199
Hi, Dad.

00:47:39.360 --> 00:47:46.159
I don't speed, but I was cruising down Dodge and just to get there as fast as I could.

00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:47.599
You heard your son's voice.

00:47:47.840 --> 00:47:51.440
And then he wanted ice, and I wasn't supposed to give it to him, but I'd bring it to him whenever he wanted.

00:47:51.599 --> 00:47:56.559
So for him to not be able to walk, talk, do anything, we already got the talking in there.

00:47:56.639 --> 00:48:00.559
And he's alert, he knows that's the first who we were.

00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:08.960
He knew you recognized like because parts of his memory are are forgotten or just he doesn't really know some of it.

00:48:09.039 --> 00:48:11.519
Yeah, they can tie together because there is brain injury, right?

00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:11.840
Yeah.

00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:12.079
Yep.

00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:15.920
Okay, so he says, Hi dad, because you are obviously holding the phone.

00:48:16.159 --> 00:48:18.320
When did you know things are gonna be okay?

00:48:18.639 --> 00:48:20.960
So it's just those little glimmers of hope, right?

00:48:21.039 --> 00:48:29.440
You know, you're you know, you're told the worst, you know, and again, I've said, hey, if my kid never walks again or I don't care, you know, whatever, he's talking, like we can have a conversation.

00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:38.000
So within five days, by the fifth day, roughly, they moved him from ICU down to the next floor.

00:48:38.079 --> 00:48:45.679
I I think either uh I can't remember if it's up or whatever, but they were gonna start, you know, slowly with his physical therapy.

00:48:46.079 --> 00:48:50.320
And when he said earlier about hugging me, he he just stood up.

00:48:50.559 --> 00:48:51.039
What?

00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:52.000
He just stood up.

00:48:52.239 --> 00:48:58.159
They were trying to get him ready to go to do physical therapy with him, and so he stood up and just hugged Lisa.

00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:01.760
He was not supposed to walk, he was not supposed to talk nor eat.

00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:04.000
You were thinking of porn concrete already.

00:49:04.639 --> 00:49:08.719
So they were just having him do like standing up with support and help.

00:49:09.119 --> 00:49:14.480
So he was standing up, sitting down, that stuff, and then they were gonna try doing some steps.

00:49:15.199 --> 00:49:25.920
And so she had left to go home and get some rest, and I was with Will, and they were they said, Hey, we're just gonna do some standing up, we're gonna maybe walk to the bathroom or try that.

00:49:26.079 --> 00:49:27.039
I said, Okay, that's fine.

00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:28.480
I'm gonna go get coffee.

00:49:28.719 --> 00:49:42.559
So I went down, I had scooters, went grabbed some scooters, and uh came upstairs, and as I'm entering the hospital wing, that and that floor, I look over and there he is walking, just trucking, just going to town.

00:49:42.639 --> 00:49:46.559
And they're like lopsided, or he was you know, his his balance was off.

00:49:47.119 --> 00:49:48.239
Yeah, he had no balance still.

00:49:48.559 --> 00:49:50.800
They had it so he had a one of the belts on, so they had him.

00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:57.920
He was still walking, but he was walking on his own, and you know, he just looked at me and I was like he couldn't really talk either at the moment.

00:49:58.239 --> 00:50:00.559
Yeah, because the the voice box, I think, or the blaries.

00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:08.800
His vocal cords, vocal cords, I think damaged vocal cords too, which base I would never repair, which will repair in months, a matter of a couple months.

00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:15.760
Yeah, because I remember you know, us coming to Madonna, you know, I want to bring us to a better part of light here.

00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:17.599
Just this is pretty heavy.

00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:22.480
I mean, we have the story and perspectives, but what has it done for both of you?

00:50:22.719 --> 00:50:26.000
Well, it's definitely, I think, renewed my faith more.

00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:29.760
You know, I I was definitely in a sp in a spot where I was questioning a lot of things.

00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:30.159
Sure.

00:50:30.320 --> 00:50:35.360
And just you know, I'm I'm a very analytical person and like I need evidence.

00:50:35.679 --> 00:50:38.480
No, I need evidence, I need things that make sense.

00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:40.960
And so, you know, some of the things just didn't make sense.

00:50:41.039 --> 00:50:49.599
And you know, it the only way, you know, that any of this really is where it is today is because of God.

00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:50.559
Absolutely.

00:50:50.719 --> 00:50:54.320
I mean, you know, God, God's funny too.

00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:56.719
He actually humbles you.

00:50:56.880 --> 00:51:02.719
The lady, the doctor that I yelled at, I mean, I screamed at her.

00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:10.159
I was screaming, I didn't cuss, I was screaming, I was So there's no like thank you cards on the or get what cards from the hospital for you.

00:51:10.400 --> 00:51:18.000
No, let's the doctor said something to her, and she says, You don't get to talk because you were wrong about all of these things.

00:51:18.239 --> 00:51:18.639
Wow.

00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:21.440
Okay, I'm only laughing because I know Lisa.

00:51:21.679 --> 00:51:24.559
Lisa, okay, you don't get to say it again.

00:51:25.199 --> 00:51:26.400
You don't get to talk.

00:51:26.559 --> 00:51:28.159
However, let me get back to God's.

00:51:28.480 --> 00:51:30.480
This is within a circle with all of the doctors.

00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:30.800
Yeah.

00:51:31.039 --> 00:51:32.559
So they're everybody's like, whoa.

00:51:33.039 --> 00:51:34.480
What was his reaction?

00:51:34.719 --> 00:51:37.519
She just like, I made her cry.

00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:39.360
I upset her.

00:51:39.599 --> 00:51:42.159
So here's how God's funny.

00:51:42.320 --> 00:51:48.639
And I want everybody to know how God humbles you and brings you to back.

00:51:49.679 --> 00:51:56.559
So the next when we're in now, we're on this other level, and I get a flat tire.

00:51:57.119 --> 00:51:58.559
I hit a pothole.

00:51:58.719 --> 00:52:06.079
It was winter, it's cold, and no, I did not want to change my tire.

00:52:06.239 --> 00:52:07.440
I'm like, I gotta get in.

00:52:07.519 --> 00:52:16.239
So I pull the car in and I look over, and I see I see somebody in a car next to me, and I'm like, you know, oh, who's that?

00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:18.639
Oh, that, oh, that looks like that doctor.

00:52:19.119 --> 00:52:21.519
So I just get out of the car, I call him for him to go.

00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:22.480
Oh no.

00:52:23.360 --> 00:52:30.639
So I'm in the room with my son, and he's sleeping at the time, and here comes that doctor.

00:52:31.679 --> 00:52:35.519
The one that I told, you will not talk.

00:52:35.760 --> 00:52:41.599
And she gives me a piece of paper and she says, You must have hit the same pothole as I did.

00:52:41.760 --> 00:52:48.960
So here's a phone number for you to call to get your tire replaced.

00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:53.679
And so she sat down next to me and I'm like, God, I am not apologizing.

00:52:54.800 --> 00:52:59.920
So I just I looked at her and I said, I go, Do you have any kids?

00:53:00.079 --> 00:53:01.599
She goes, Yeah, I have a baby.

00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:06.079
And I said, You will always know your kid.

00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:14.719
I said, So when a mom tells you to pull that tube out because she knows her kid's gonna thrive, I said, You should listen to her.

00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:17.280
I go, You said that in that moment again?

00:53:17.519 --> 00:53:22.480
Yes, I said, because I go look at my son, yeah, and she goes, I know, I can see that.

00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:24.719
I go, he's thriving.

00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:30.639
And after all of that, it just but it humbled me to forgive her, yes, too.

00:53:31.199 --> 00:53:32.960
We just kept seeing Will level up.

00:53:33.119 --> 00:53:41.519
So you know, once once he stood up, once once the two came out, and then he stood up, and then you know, there was so many just benchmarks day like day in, day out.

00:53:41.679 --> 00:53:47.679
And then they said, He's doing all the stuff that we can do here, so he needs to go to Madonna.

00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:50.079
Madonna, and that's where enter Mason.

00:53:50.559 --> 00:53:52.960
And Will had to he had to learn to walk all over again.

00:53:53.119 --> 00:54:01.039
He had to learn how to eat, everything had to be relearned after, you know, just what eight days, seven days, eight days in Madonna.

00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:13.679
We're there for so we were in children's for 13 days total, total, and um but you know, I was told by our psychiatrist that the doctors at children's were amazed by him.

00:54:13.840 --> 00:54:20.639
Like he was They said that typically when they see kids that have had his injury, it's months, six months before they're out of it.

00:54:21.039 --> 00:54:22.000
What you guys are telling us.

00:54:22.320 --> 00:54:26.639
It was like supposed to be another six to nine months before we could be where he was at walking out of Madonna.

00:54:26.880 --> 00:54:31.280
I mean, and so that's why we you know we talk about God, you know, like I can't explain it other any other way.

00:54:31.599 --> 00:54:34.559
I just remember being part of the story, right?

00:54:34.719 --> 00:54:39.440
Just part of the I remember walking the halls, I remember what it smells like in there.

00:54:39.519 --> 00:54:44.079
I remember where I parked, and I remember parking crooked and I didn't even care.

00:54:44.239 --> 00:54:49.280
I remember seeing you guys in the window of that first room that you guys were in.

00:54:49.360 --> 00:54:50.320
I was like, oh, there they are.

00:54:50.400 --> 00:54:54.159
I was going to the wrong exit, and Mason's like, Where are we going, Dad?

00:54:54.239 --> 00:55:06.159
You know, and but Mason's gonna watch this, and and and this is probably more for him, this next part, but and it's for the kids who surround good kids like your son, right?

00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:15.360
Is there something you want Mason to know about the part that he might have played in Will's social part of his life?

00:55:15.519 --> 00:55:19.039
Or yeah, I mean, you know, Mason, you're there for him, man.

00:55:19.199 --> 00:55:23.119
Like he was he always looked forward to you coming and visiting, you know.

00:55:23.360 --> 00:55:25.280
He said, Hey, Mason's gonna come by.

00:55:25.599 --> 00:55:32.960
You know, the rest of his day was so boring with doing all of the other, you know, hey, you know, here's how to put your fork up to your mouth.

00:55:33.199 --> 00:55:37.119
You know, he was just so happy to have that interaction with one of his buddies.

00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:39.920
So thank you for for being there for Will.

00:55:40.559 --> 00:55:50.800
Yeah, I I the thing about Mason, which I loved, and the videos are on our Facebook, but he just he wasn't daintily with Will.

00:55:51.039 --> 00:55:53.920
He just, come on, let's go throw a football.

00:55:54.079 --> 00:55:57.440
And he was patient and so sweet and so funny.

00:55:57.599 --> 00:55:58.960
And both kids were there.

00:55:59.039 --> 00:56:03.519
I mean, Kinsey was having fun, and all three of them just watching them together.

00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:15.440
And Will, it made Phil Will feel like a normal kid, a normal kid again, you know, and that was that was we're like, okay, we've got we've got more milestones.

00:56:15.679 --> 00:56:16.559
We've got another great.

00:56:17.119 --> 00:56:22.800
I don't even think at that point Will so you know, a lot of the memories like you mentioned, you know, he didn't remember me.

00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:25.360
He didn't he didn't know he didn't know why he was in there.

00:56:25.519 --> 00:56:27.440
Yeah, oh he didn't even know why he was at dawn.

00:56:29.119 --> 00:56:36.239
We you know, we went through a lot of counseling and therapy with the staff there of you know, we had to tell him what happened.

00:56:36.559 --> 00:56:37.519
I do remember that.

00:56:37.920 --> 00:56:45.199
And that was a hard piece too, because you know, when when you have he he was a completely different person from what he was before.

00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:50.800
The darkness was gone, the there was so much light in him, he was just free as a bird.

00:56:51.199 --> 00:57:00.159
But that traumatic event had probably, like you said, was a catalyst for change and killed every demon that he had.

00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:09.280
So when you know when when you're thinking that you have to tell him about what had happened, you know, you're does this send him back down that that that spiral again.

00:57:09.599 --> 00:57:10.320
And it didn't.

00:57:10.559 --> 00:57:11.119
And it didn't.

00:57:11.199 --> 00:57:14.400
And so when we told him, no, I think he was shocked himself.

00:57:14.960 --> 00:57:21.440
He got up and he hugged his nonna and his sister and said, I'm so sorry I put you through that.

00:57:21.599 --> 00:57:29.920
And then they were like And my mom's not here to be in this podcast, but she she and Mackenzie were the real MVPs of all of this.

00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:43.599
Yeah, you know, absolutely finding him, you know, the you know, getting him down and doing CPR, like they they were and I just want and I just want to I want to put out just another God moment in that moment when they were saving him.

00:57:43.840 --> 00:57:46.960
Lana couldn't get you know, she had bad knees, bad hips, whatever.

00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:47.760
Yeah, I know.

00:57:48.559 --> 00:57:49.360
I know her, I know her.

00:57:49.599 --> 00:57:52.400
She's like, I don't know how I did it, and I said it was God.

00:57:52.639 --> 00:57:57.760
She it wasn't the it wasn't I always thought it was the paramedics that got a pulse.

00:57:58.000 --> 00:58:02.320
No, the paramedics told us it was Nona because of what she did, yeah.

00:58:02.639 --> 00:58:13.519
Her him CPR and she didn't then CPR it like whenever and no one does no one does CPR and all of a sudden it just all trained 20, 30 years ago.

00:58:13.920 --> 00:58:14.400
Yeah.

00:58:15.519 --> 00:58:16.159
I know.

00:58:17.360 --> 00:58:21.679
You know, to to land this, what gives you hope when you look at your son today?

00:58:21.920 --> 00:58:30.480
I he's I just tell him he's God's miracle, and you know, he's a true testament of what God can do for you, can do for anybody.

00:58:31.360 --> 00:58:40.639
I mean, he not many moms get to sit here like I do, you know, when they lose their son or daughter and my heart breaks for them.

00:58:40.800 --> 00:58:52.159
But I think for me, he just encourages me to give it all to God, even in my worst moments or you know, most stresses or whatever.

00:58:52.400 --> 00:58:57.199
I mean, he's got a whole life ahead of him, and that is amazing, and I'm proud of that.

00:58:57.440 --> 00:59:01.119
You know, to spend time with his sister and grow old with his sister when we're gone.

00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:10.559
I mean, that is something that I've always wanted them to always be close, and they've always been close, but now it's like they have a they have a really relationship.

00:59:10.880 --> 00:59:18.400
Well, they even admit it both of them on camera, so they talk to each other on about stuff they don't talk to you about, which is good.

00:59:19.280 --> 00:59:19.920
And I'm okay.

00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:21.119
Yeah, yeah, I'm okay with that.

00:59:23.599 --> 00:59:30.800
You know, and and you're with him, it's you know, he's he was in a position where you know he he wasn't gonna walk or talk or do anything again.

00:59:31.039 --> 00:59:37.599
And and you know, you saw him you know giving his testimony up on stage in front of a bunch of Oh my god, you sent me the video too.

00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:40.000
By the way, you need to learn how to operate a camera.

00:59:40.800 --> 00:59:43.280
No way I I could edit it for you.

00:59:43.360 --> 00:59:44.000
I could edit it.

00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:51.199
But but you know, I mean, reflecting, you know, really this is probably very critical.

00:59:51.440 --> 00:59:53.119
I'm and we'll close it out with this.

00:59:53.360 --> 00:59:59.840
What message would you give to parents who feel like they don't know what left to do or they feel like they can't reach their child?

01:00:00.800 --> 01:00:02.159
What would you say to do?

01:00:02.239 --> 01:00:03.199
What's the action?

01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:04.320
What's the next action?

01:00:04.480 --> 01:00:09.840
Like if you don't know what to do, I mean that's you know, that's one of the reasons why we're so open about talking about this.

01:00:10.079 --> 01:00:13.119
We're on Facebook, you know, reach out, send me a a private message.

01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:15.920
You want to get my phone number from Jay, feel free.

01:00:16.079 --> 01:00:16.239
Yeah.

01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:19.920
You know, I don't want anybody to have to go through what we did.

01:00:20.159 --> 01:00:24.159
And if you are, know that there's people that have been through it and that will support you.

01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:27.360
Again, you it doesn't need to feel like you're on an island.

01:00:27.440 --> 01:00:28.320
We've we felt that.

01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:33.119
We felt like we had to recreate the wheel and you don't have to.

01:00:33.360 --> 01:00:33.920
You don't have to.

01:00:34.079 --> 01:00:36.719
There are so many people and and again it it's not talked about.

01:00:36.800 --> 01:00:39.599
If people are you know, maybe ashamed of it, we're not ashamed.

01:00:39.760 --> 01:00:39.920
No.

01:00:40.079 --> 01:00:51.039
You know, we're you know, we want to be able to essentially normalize it to be able to talk about it because we know it's happening, so that way people don't have to feel like they live in the shadows if they're struggling.

01:00:51.280 --> 01:01:06.639
And it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to reach out to you outside your village or within your village because there is someone else struggling or dealing with the same thing that you're dealing with as a parent or as an adult.

01:01:06.800 --> 01:01:19.679
And there's a lot of nonprofits out there that are being built and that are still new today that are about a year old that are out there for us for kid our kids even to call, to talk to somebody, you know.

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:22.000
Just take action as what take action.

01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:22.800
Absolutely.

01:01:23.360 --> 01:01:24.079
Don't put it off.

01:01:24.320 --> 01:01:26.400
There's no mistake you can make when you're seeking help.

01:01:26.639 --> 01:01:29.360
No, but the mistake is to not seek help.

01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:42.320
Yeah, with that being said, you guys, I am grateful for your courage and your this is probably one of the hardest podcasts I've ever had to go through.

01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:44.159
I'm close to your family.

01:01:44.320 --> 01:01:50.639
I've had my own battles, you know, with this, and I think this makes it real.

01:01:50.800 --> 01:01:54.079
And you guys are real people, you're a real Midwestern family.

01:01:54.239 --> 01:01:56.079
I can't wait to share this with the world.

01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:58.239
Well, thank you for allowing us to be on the platform.

01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:01.360
And thank you, everybody, for that are that's gonna watch this.

01:02:01.440 --> 01:02:07.119
Like it really means a lot, and you know, I hope that it's helpful for someone.

01:02:07.440 --> 01:02:07.840
Absolutely.

01:02:08.159 --> 01:02:10.960
And we'll we'll we'll do an update, uh, an update in the future.

01:02:11.039 --> 01:02:11.840
But God bless you guys.

01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:12.719
God bless your family.

01:02:12.960 --> 01:02:13.599
God bless you.

01:02:15.119 --> 01:02:17.760
Thanks for tuning in to the connection.

01:02:17.920 --> 01:02:24.559
It's been a fantastic journey exploring stories, insights, and inspirations that bridge our lives.

01:02:24.800 --> 01:02:28.400
Remember, every connection has the power to transform.

01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:31.679
Please subscribe, rate, and review.

01:02:31.920 --> 01:02:33.920
Your feedback keeps us going.

01:02:34.159 --> 01:02:39.360
In this connected world, let's make meaningful connections that enrich lives.

01:02:39.599 --> 01:02:43.760
Now, signing off until next time, the connection.

01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:46.159
Keep connecting and let's go.